Sunday, June 16, 2013

I am not a runner.

Why would I write a blog about running if I am not a runner?  Because I run 3-4x/week.  I am not sure whether this will make sense to anyone but me (which is probably not a great statement to make in the first paragraph of a new blog), but I don't know if I will ever be able to state, "I am a runner," without feeling like a liar.  

So here's my back story so you might understand why. 6 months ago, my hobbies were: reading, journaling, playing video games, playing board games, and watching lots and lots of television.  Notice a trend? All of my favorite things in life I could do from the comfort of my wonderful reclining sofa.  Oh. and eating. I love eating.  I use food to celebrate, to cure boredom, to feel better when I'm sad, and as an excuse to see friends or family.  

My love of eating combined with my sloth-like existence shockingly made me gain weight. I know, right? The world is a cruel and unfair place.  At 5 feet 2 inches, 175 lbs, I thought to myself, "Self. Get your shit together. The longer you wait, the harder it will be."  But, I ignored myself, because it sounded too hard to lose weight.  At 186lbs, it was getting a bit harder to ignore the obvious. I thought to myself, "Self. Seriously. Get your shit together!" And for some reason I decided to listen.  Maybe it was the fact that I had just gone up yet another dress size.  

I joined Weight Watchers in the fall of 2012.  Still not ready to exercise, because I was too embarrassed to be the chunky girl at the gym, but eating much better.  By New Years 2013, I was down 20lbs and I decided that it was time I made a New Years resolution (an unprecedented occurrence as far as I can remember) to participate in light exercise 2-3x per week.  Then I got bored.  Walking is boring.  So I decided to try running a little bit on the treadmill to decrease boredom and increase the chances that I would stick to my resolution.  

.25 miles on the treadmill killed me. My lungs burned, my head pounded, my legs hurt, I found myself coughing as though I had bronchitis.  But I kept going.  When I told my brother that I had started exercising, he invited me to run a 10K with him.  I laughed in his face.  A 10K?!  Not going to happen. A 5K sounded more reasonable, but still unlikely.

Flash forward to today. June 16, 2013.  I have now run in four 5K races and two 10K races.  I am training for a half marathon.

I thought running was impossible. I thought, "I'm too fat for that," and "I'm not built like a runner," and "Nobody wants to see me fall on my face."  Now I think, "Holy crap, I just ran 6 miles. And I didn't die.  And I don't even feel like I am going to die.  Maybe pass out. But not die."  

Oh...and I have only missed my exercise at least 2x/week goal twice so far this year, and I was sick both times, so I'll forgive myself.  I'm currently down 39lbs too, which makes running a bit easier. 

I have this idea in my head (that may be very wrong) that to be a runner, you have to find it effortless.  A runner is confident that if they run 4 miles from home, they will make it back without having to hitchhike.  A runner is tall and slender. A runner doesn't love pizza as much I love pizza and a runner certainly doesn't eat pizza as much as I eat pizza. 

So I don't feel comfortable saying that I am a runner and I may never feel comfortable doing so.

But I am someone who has learned to love running. And I hope that this passion stays with me...and I hope to share this passion with others. I plan to share my ups and downs as I train for my half marathon (August 17th), product reviews, and tips from a new runner for other new runners.  


  1. This is fantastic! I run cross country for my high school and before I had never though of myself as someone who would be able to pull off things like that. It's so interesting to read success stories like these because it reminds me of myself. It sounds like you've had a great start and truly it's only the beginning. Good luck with all your efforts, you certainly deserve to be called a runner

  2. Thank you for the support! I'm glad to hear that you have also learned to trust your body and recognized that you are capable of more than you originally thought.